Wednesday, April 12, 2006

The Definitive Cartoon Badgirl!

“You’re standing on my neck!”

I KNOW I’m not the only one suffering from a major case of the “I Miss Daria” blues!



Though she was only a made-up, drawn-in character, that girl had charisma. I don’t know if it was her monotone voice, her major-ly bad, dull, mousy, pageant-hair-gone-wrong or her knack for always saying the sickest, most sarcastic things in such a way that not only did we not hate her, we loved her for it. She was witty, brainy, and an understated hottie (though she would never admit it). The complete opposite of her sister Quinn,



who was an overstated, yet average looking girly-girl. Quinn (foolishly) thought that downplaying her intelligence made her sexier to guys and less of a threat to girls. (I refuse to believe she was just dumb!) Though I have to admit, in middle school Quinn seemed like the cool sophomore I wanted to be when I got to high school. Now I’ve come to my senses. *Sigh of relief.*

But it wasn’t just The Morgendorffers that made the show phenomenal. The Lanes, i.e. Jane and Trent, Daria’s best friend and longtime crush, respectively, were some of my fav characters. I loved Jane’s cool, almost asymmetrical bob and her not-quite-sarcastic, almost optimistic view of life. It was a great balance for Daria. Sure she religiously watched a TV show entitled “Sick Sad World,” but deep down, she was a cheerleader for life. Of course I absolutely loved Trent and rooted for him and Daria to get together, as I knew both secretly harbored feelings for each and were both too shy to admit it!

From Daria and Quinn to Jane and Trent to…everyone else,. Lawndale High School



was home to some of the most eccentric cartoon characters since Thumper (I know I’m not the only one who that little rabbit was overly sexual!). From Brittany, the blonde bombshell cheerleader

,

to her boyfriend Kevin, the dumbest guy in school, to the token black couple Jodie and Mack
to the crazy teachers.

Ahh…I should stop now, I’m tearing up. If anyone at MTV is reading this, bring Daria back!! We love her!

Luv,

Whitney ☺

I Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident

My Beauty Truths:

1) You don’t have to be thin to be gorgeous.


2) Black is the New Black.


3) Flats are sexier than heels.


4) Short hair is just as fabulous as long hair.


5) Vaseline is the world’s best body crème. Period.


6) White teeth never go out of style.


7) Just because someone is not white, doesn’t mean that they are exotic. White people are in the minority. They are exotic.


8) Black don’t crack. See Iman, Oprah, My Mommy.


9) There is no such thing as “Good Hair.”


10) A positive attitude is the best accessory, ever! ☺

Sunday, April 02, 2006

My Top 10 Favoritest Baaaad Girls

10. Britney Spears-Besides busting into the pop music world with the kiddie porn video "Hit Me Baby," the Princess of Pop and Bad Girl out of Louisiana continues her steady fall from relative grace with her mini-marriages and trashy, wannabe rapper boyfriend. After all that, I still luv her and she earned a spot on my top 10!

9. Madonna- What can you say about a woman named for one of the most revered women ever born who writhed around on stages wearing a white wedding dress, kissed a black Jesus and performed an ode to sadomasochism all in one decade?

8. Trina- She's the baddest b***h! Nuff said.

7. Zora Neale Hurston- A Harlem Renaissance Bad Girl and author of one of my all-time favorite novels, Their Eyes Were Watching God. She lived life on her own terms, refusing to be defined by her race, gender or Southern heritage. Gone Girl!

6. Kim Cattrall- Whether penning books like "Satisfaction: The Art of the Female Orgasm" or stripping down to her skivvies (or less) for the now defunct Sex & The City (RIP), Kim is the Bad Girl's Bad Girl and the hottest Canadian import since the lawn sprinkler.

5. Janet Jackson- Ms. Jackson if your nasty! How could anyone expect anything less than a sexually confused, notoriously reclusive, uber-talented singer from a girl who grew up watching Joe terrorize fellow crazy Michael? The only woman brave enough to flash a middle-aged breast in front of millions of viewers during the most wholesome performance of the year AND weird enough to date Jermaine Dupri. Guess she wasn’t playin when she talked about nasty boys....

4. Angelina Jolie- She drinks blood, french-kisses her brother, denounces her father, steals the sexiest man alive from America’s Sweetheart and adopts multicultural babies from war-torn countries. Need I say more?

3. Martha Stewart- Susie Homemaker turned hardened criminal? Not quite. But this domestic goddess did prove that she’s one bad chick when she was released from prison and seamlessly regained control of her multi-million dollar empire.

2. Marilyn Monroe- Who can forget that scene in The Seven Year Itch when she stands on a vent and remarks, "Oh, do you feel the breeze from the subway. Isn't it delicious?" while her dress flutters and creates one of the most famous images in pop culture. She made scandalous movies, became the mistress to heads of state and was the first person to ever pose for Playboy. Now that’s a bad chick.

1. Mary J. Blige- My favorite kind of bad girl-- one who turns good. Mary is a reformed Angry/Sad Black Woman, a singer who lit up the charts with heartbreak anthems that reflected the emotional turmoil, abusive relationships and drug abuse that sprinkled her past. Now she’s clean, happy and lovin’ life as a new wife and step-mother. Proof that even bad girls have happy endings :)